Some Kind of Wonderful

I’m a terrible long-term planner. I’m actually very good at setting goals and absolutely horrible at creating steps to achieve those plans. It’s all in the execution and traditionally, that has been my downfall.

I’ve decided this year I’m going to make a change. (I have said this in the past, but this is the year… dammit).

Without a doubt, this is going to be a detailed and complicated process. By the time I’ve written this, I should have at least come up with quarterly and yearly plans. I might have even drilled down to month-by-month goals and steps. If I’m super lucky, I will have already involved my wife in these tentative planning sessions and she will have chimed in with better and more accurate dates, events, and plans.

As we are a few days into the new year and well past the craziness of the holidays, it is a good time to reflect on the past and plan for the future. The new year usually brings new unknown challenges, and it is always good to go in with a plan. Although I think it was Mike Tyson who said, “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.”

Really, doing this should help me understand what’s coming up, see where things are, and where they might be down the road. It also should help me not get punched in the mouth that often or at least get back up after getting smacked in the face.

Traditionally, I’m poor at having this foresight so when the unexpected happens, I flounder. This year’s plan is designed to change that. No matter what areas I need to keep on top of, such as financial planning, trips we want to take, graduation parties, or just figuring out what is important over the course of the year, I’m going to plan for them now.

Maybe a bit surprising to some, I have elected to attempt to use a paper calendar. I have attempted to use a paper calendar in the past and have failed at it on more than one occasion. I want to use a paper calendar for planning. I’ll still have my electronic calendar for things, but I’m going to attempt a hybrid model. Wish me luck. I am not looking forward to any kind of personal budgeting. I am not particularly good with numbers. Thankfully, my wife is better at keeping things on track. However, I’m woefully uninformed about our household finances. This year I want to get a better handle on all that.

Another part of this long-term planning is vacations and time off over the course of the year. We don’t travel much for a variety of reasons, but I’d like to try and make some plans along those lines and see what might make sense. I think it would be worthwhile for us to plan a few trips to see friends and family.

I encourage everyone to take some time to look ahead and see what the coming year holds for you. My goal with this plan is to help me understand and keep focused on the important things each quarter, month, week, and day.

For far too many years, I’ve been a passive participant in things happening around me. I want to have more say, and the only way to do that is to take some control and ask to be included in those plans.

For the other planners out there reading this, it may seem like old hat, and I get that. For the passive non-planners… why not take inventory, set some goals and some steps, and make 2024 something wonderful?

We all could use something wonderful this year.

Let’s make it happen.

Snowfall

It is just a few days into the new year when the holidays are over and the bitter cold becomes unbearable without the tinsel, lights, and presents under the tree to warm up one’s spirits.

I’ve made my home in the Midwest. It’s where my wife and I grew up and it’s what we know. I often dream about moving to Arizona but fear I’d tire of the reds, oranges, and browns everywhere. I worry I might miss the green. Although, I’m pretty sure I would not miss the white. And when I say white… I mean snow.

There is snow on the ground and I hate the snow.

January in Illinois means freezing temperatures. Ask me in six months what it means and I’ll tell you scorching heat. The seasons change around here.

Of course, these parts have more seasons than just Winter, Spring, Summer, and Fall. You have “Gotcha Spring,” “Sometimes in snows in April,” “Sneezing-time,” and a few others. Right now, it’s “Post-Holidays Winter.” No one’s favorite.

Have I mentioned that I hate the snow?

My wife loves snow. She can’t wait for it to snow again. A long, cold winter makes her incredibly happy. A wet blanket of white covering everything is exactly what she wants.

Not me.

Honestly, I would probably love the snow, too, if I didn’t have to drive in it and endure other drivers as well. I’d love a good snowfall if it fell everywhere but the roads.

I get it; snow is pretty, and you can make snow forts and have snowball fights. It can be peaceful sipping coffee in the morning light as a slow snowfall turns everything pure white. My wife drives an SUV and she powers through any snow and ice on the roads. I do not drive an SUV and my vehicle is much closer to the ground. And the snow and ice.

It’s the ice I really don’t like.

One time, I was on the interstate driving to work and I hit a patch of ice and somehow did a complete 360-degree rotation on the road. I did not crash or flip over, but it scared me to death. I was also once caught in a freak snowstorm wearing a T-shirt, flip-flops, and shorts. I should have known better. It was Gotcha Spring outside.

So, I’m super cautious in snow and really even when it rains. When there’s potential for slick roads, I hate driving. I doubt that’s some big revelation for anyone. It probably bothers other drivers, but I’ve never ended up in a ditch because I was driving too fast for the conditions.

However, there’s snow on the ground and my wife is happy. So, I’m happy.

And a Happy New Year

This year, my wife and I decided to spend New Year’s Eve quietly. This is not an unusual experience. It’s been quite some time since we went out for New Year’s Eve to celebrate with either friends or family. Just being with my wife at home with whatever special was on television was exactly all we needed. We don’t often get to stay up late talking about the past year or the upcoming one. It was nice to reflect on the previous months and look forward to the next.

2023 was not a hellish year. At least in comparison to just a few years prior. Being able to share a quiet night on the precipice of a new year was a fitting end to 2023, and it was just… nice.

Our look back was filled with smiles and laughter and a bit of sadness. There were marriages, funerals, vacations, and other life events. We have an amazing family and a host of friends who we need to see more often. I have an amazing partner that I’m overwhelmingly grateful I get to share my life with, which makes me genuinely happy.

Like many people, I’m looking forward to what 2024 has in store for me and my family. Yet, I realize that life is unpredictable, and I can’t always control what happens. It’s exciting to embrace new beginnings, but there’s also a sense of uncertainty that comes with it. I remain optimistic and hopeful for good things, but ultimately, I’ll have to take life as it comes and see where it takes me and mine. What I have done is take control of how I express myself to the world. Starting in October 2023, this website has been where I will put my thoughts out into the world, for good or ill.

I’ve always had a love for writing. I grew up in a house full of books, and I was reading as early as possible and writing ridiculously derivative fiction almost as soon as I could write. The fact that I became a writer for a living seems almost a given.

A couple of years ago, I tried to write an original essay every week, and I did a decent job of it. It was a writing experiment that mostly worked, but I didn’t have a direction or a plan for the future.

On this site, you will find articles on a variety of topics. I write about everything from my own life and relationships to politics, pop culture, and maybe even the occasional short story. I’ll go deeply personal and broadly wide. Like Walt Whitman said, “I contain multitudes.”

The essays that I’ve written in the past that have resonated the most with readers are done in a personal narrative style and relate to my own experiences. I’ll write just about anything, but I want to have a reason to write each essay.

As another new year dawns upon us, I plan to spend January 1 watching movies, maybe taking a nap, and enjoying the company of my wife. This day calls for some much-needed rest, and I fully intend to utilize it to recharge my batteries for the year ahead.

I hope you have a Happy New Year, and may 2024 bring you joy and prosperity.

Start Today

Don’t wait until January 1st, or next Monday, or any other random date when you think everything will be perfectly aligned to start. Do something before today ends.

Do you want to get fit and still cannot go to the gym for some reason? Do 100 burpees today, or go for a run.

Do you want to read more? Try to read ten pages before going to bed.

Do you want to meditate or adopt any other habit? Start small; a minute or two of that activity, and you can increase that time tomorrow.

When January 1st or that Monday comes, you’ll already be on the journey, not on the sidelines. And more importantly, you would have overcome the procrastination, which was the real challenge, not the day you’re in, whether is December 29th or January 1st.

See you next year.

Christmas Morning

I wake to a silent house. My coffee warms cold hands as I sit gazing at the pale winter light filtering in through frosted windows. It’s Christmas morning. I hope you’re having a great day so far (or had a great day if you’re reading this after the fact).

There aren’t wide-eyed children exploding with anticipation in this house anymore, which is a touch sad. There are still stockings hung by the fireplace, a twinkling tree (actually several), and the feeling of “the calm before the storm.” However, there is a wonderful feeling of family.  

There aren’t a lot of Christmas traditions in this family. We don’t open everything all at once and luxuriate in the carnage of torn wrapping, ribbons, and tape. We do go through our stockings first and see what Santa brought and then look to open presents. It’s a joyous occasion and we do what we want.  

This year, new faces have arrived on Christmas morning. Boyfriends and friends have made this a new kind of Christmas. It’s new but not unexpected. Time flows forward. Not too far into the future, I’ll be the grandpa, like my father before me.

In the kitchen, monkey bread and rolls are coming out for breakfast. It’s not really a Christmas morning tradition, but I like that it’s just for us. It feels right.  

After the presents are piled up and clothes tried on… after the kids have headed out to go to their other family Christmases… after watching a movie or two and maybe taking a nap… I will give thanks—for the warmth and light, for family together again, and for warm coffee on a silent morning.  

Be kind, be happy, and be at peace this Christmas.

Give Thanks

Falling leaves float gently in the November breeze. Thanksgiving is tomorrow. For some reason, the house already feels warmer homier.

Part of me resists the push and pull of another busy holiday season. I want to cling to the coziness of fall before everything gets swept up in cooking, cleaning, and planning. And yet, Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorites. Its sole purpose is togetherness, gratitude, and good food. No elaborate gift-giving is required.

Walking outside into the crisp air, I notice beauty in the mundane details around me. Dewdrops clinging to the faded grass. The bare-branched tree in the backyard, its leaves gathered in a colorful quilt beneath. A squirrel chatters as it digs up a buried acorn. Simple gifts are easy to overlook in life’s hustle.

My wife is grateful most of all for our health. For our safe home and cozy bed. For steady work and food on the table. For our family and friends. Her constant nurturing presence anchors me. Without her, my life would lack color and warmth.

The news is filled with divisiveness and hardship, but I choose to turn toward hope. To focus on the helpers, the healers. Like Fred Rogers said years ago… the neighbor who checks in on the elderly widow next door. Donors giving time and money to help. Doctors healing the sick. Teachers nurturing the future. Millions of quiet heroes we can be grateful for.   The world will always have darkness, but there is light if we look for it. Goodness persists if we nurture it and pass it on.

Soon, we’ll go around the table sharing what we’re grateful for this year. Some will be humorous, some heartfelt. But all will be gifts to appreciate for this moment—this imperfect but beautiful life. The year to come brings uncertainty, but there is turkey, laughter, friendship, and hope right now.

For all of this and more, I give thanks.